Home Lifestyle Health Drew: Part Two: Affairs of the Heart

Drew: Part Two: Affairs of the Heart

By Samuetta Hill Drew

“I need love, love to ease my mind. I need to find, find someone to call mine, but momma said you can’t hurry love, oh you just have to wait…” are some famous lyrics from a Motown Classic by the Supremes called “You Can’t Hurry Love.”

In 2020, the song’s title remains true to a point, but with the reality of online dating you don’t have to wait. The ease of possibly finding your “Mr. or Ms.” someone in this century only requires a few clicks on an online dating site.

Even though the process of weeding through a field of possible prospects has become a lot simpler, there are some basic safety measures recommended for you to follow. Regrettably, it’s prudent to keep in mind where your efforts may be sincere, there are others using the same online sites trying to identify a future victim to prey upon. Let’s review some possible signs for those with dishonest or criminal intentions.

Many scammers will use some clever tactics to try and sweep you off your feet. One tactic used often is showering you with compliments or using very smooth and flowery, romantic language right away. They give some of the old classic lines about how they’re “just looking for love,” and “I know you are the one for me, the one I’ve been looking for.” Make note to self you’re too smart to fall for someone who’s moving too fast. This is a red flag, so continue with extreme caution or better, discontinue the pursuit immediately.

Another tactic of scammers is their professions. The Nigerian prince has run its course. Now the new scammer professions used are architects, oil-rig engineers, geologists, make-up artists, nurses and the list continues. Another very popular claim by the scammer to be is to have been a soldier or any career related to the military. They use the oh-so convenient excuse they’re stationed far overseas so they cannot meet you in person. So, if your match isn’t keen on meeting in real life, you should be on alert. Note their real job title is scammer or swindler.

Another trick they use is to tug on your heartstrings. Some will claim to be religious so you will trust them more readily. Some will use a sob story claiming they are a recent widow, or their fiancé or longtime partner passed away in a tragic accident. Some will even resort to stories about their sick child or how they are caretakers for their parents.

It’s conceivable these types of situations may be true for a small percentage of online singles involved in online dating, the truth about being matched with a scammer doesn’t come until later when they start asking you for money.

So, don’t allow your guard to come down until you know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. This is another reason last week’s article recommended you conduct your own investigation before meeting your match, excluding Facebook and Instagram. If your match asks for money, gift cards, or your account information, stop all communication immediately. It’s very likely this person is a scammer.

Many scammers are very crafty. They will play the long-term game hoping to build trust with you. Then, suddenly, there’s an “emergency,” and they need money quickly. Here’s a few types of fake emergencies they will claim to have:
• They were robbed and need money
• They must book a last-minute business trip or a trip to visit their sick parent(s)
It’s important to Keep an Eye on Safety by staying aware and alert for possible scammers when using online dating sites. Make sure you report your match if they violated the terms of the service to prevent them from preying on anyone else.