BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
JOI & THALMUS MAHAND
Live: Titusville
Married: Oct. 1, 2004
Met: Winter 2002, at Enterprise Rental Cars in Roebuck. Thalmus worked there as a leasing agent, and Joi had joined the staff as an intern through a program at her school, Berea College, in Berea, Kentucky. Both were in relationships at the time and were merely “cool coworkers.”
“His desk was right behind mine, and we used to joke and goof off,” Joi said. “And then he got mad when he [realized the task of dropping the daily deposit was given] to me because that was his goof off time to leave the branch.”
Thalmus remembered Joi being a cool girl, but shortly after they met, he quit Enterprise for another job. “… I knew she was a business major, so I gave her my card and told her if she needed anything [references, job referrals] in the future, reach out. And that was it, I never gave it another thought,” Thalmus said.
That was until summer 2003 when Joi and Thalmus reconnected at a social savings club party in Birmingham. “My mama was in a social savings club, and she told me to invite some people,” Joi laughed. “And I invited someone else who invited him.”
“Joi invited one of our ex-Enterprise coworkers. He hit me up and said, ‘let’s roll to this party that Joi invited us to’, and I was like, ‘cool, I ain’t got nothing else to do,’” Thalmus said. “When I saw her at the party, I thought she looked good, but I wasn’t thinking about trying to get at her. We all talked and had a few drinks, but the party was lame, and me and [co-worker] were getting ready to leave and she said, ‘can I get a ride? I’m ready to go home too’, and I was like ‘cool, let’s roll.’”
The trio left the party and drove Joi home to her parents’ home in Roebuck, and she invited the guys in to watch a movie. “We watched a [Tyler Perry] Madea play on bootleg,” Joi laughed, “and me and Thal were vibing and chilling, but [the co-worker] was over the night and ready to go. It was like he wasn’t even there because we were exclusively talking to one another and not including him in the conversation, I would’ve been ready to go too.”
The chemistry had been struck, and Thalmus asked Joi for her number so that they could pick it back up another night.
First date: A week later at Surin West on the Southside. Thalmus picked Joi up from her parents’ home in Roebuck because, “I was a broke college student, I didn’t have a car,” said Joi.
“The date was cool, we were having a good time, but what I do remember distinctly was that she wanted this $10 martini, and she took one sip of it and was like ‘I don’t like it’ and was done with it. And I was like, ‘you ain’t gonna drink that $10 drink’,” Thalmus said. “I was making decent money, but I wasn’t wasting a $10 drink.”
“It was strong and I didn’t really drink. I was just 21 and I was trying to be cosmopolitan and chic, but it was too strong for me,” Joi said. Thalmus finished the drink for her.
She continued, “I definitely thought he was cute. He has a bald head, and he has this cool, laid back demeanor about him, and he’s very hilarious,” Joi said. “And he was a little older than me, he was around 27 back then I used to think he was such an adult. I was like my dude got a real job, he got 401K,” she said.
“I thought she was really driven and had all these goals and knew where she wanted to go in life and I thought it was impressive that she had it all figured so young,” said Thalmus.”
The pair ended the night at a theater on Lakeshore, where they saw the Italian Job. “We discovered that we both loved action movies… it was the perfect ending to our first date,” said Joi. “I dropped her off and then we got back on the phone and talked some more,” Thalmus added.
The turn: The pair said they saw each other every day following their first date. “We never talked about making it official, it just happened,” said Thalmus. “Her mama was like, ‘are y’all dating now?’ And we said, ‘no, we’re just kicking it.’ And then she said, ‘well y’all are making it really hard for anyone else to date you’.”
They had met each other’s families over the summer and developed great rapport. “His dad started calling me his future daughter-in-law,” Joi remembered.
Their connection and love grew so strong over the summer that Thalmus proposed before Joi left to go back to school in Kentucky.
The proposal: Summer 2003, The couple were on a drive back to Birmingham from Atlanta and talked about the future.
“We were on the road, just vibing and listening to music and we started talking about our relationship, and the future came up,” Joi said.
“We were talking about relationships and marriage and what we wanted for ourselves, and I realized I was really in love with this girl, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She was getting ready to go back to school and I wasn’t ready for that because we had been together every day up to that point, and I asked her [indirectly] if she wanted to get married, and she said ‘yes, I would marry you’,” Thalmus said. “It was very organic … and I proposed right then and there with my eyes on the road and her hand in mine.”
The wedding: At Thalmus’s parent’s home in Titusville, officiated by his cousin, the Rev. Dwight Peterson, of Triedstone Missionary Baptist Church, in Birmingham. Joi wore a grey and silver cocktail dress, and Thalmus wore a grey suit. “I wanted to elope,” said Joi. “But there we were, on a Friday at 3 o’clock.”
Most memorable for the bride was, “after the wedding. It was just us and we were away from all the noise and chaos,” said Joi.
Most memorable for the groom was hearing the officiant, his own cousin, mispronounce his name during the vow exchange. “My cousin Dwight kept messing up my name, and during the vows when he said repeat after me he was calling me Thaddamus,” Thalmus laughed. “So, that night when it was over, I was messing with Joi, saying ‘you know we not really married right? You’re married to Thaddamus’.”
Words of wisdom: “Remember that love is not automatic,” said Thalmus, “you have to choose each other every single day, especially when times are hard. Communicate openly and honestly, even when the conversations are difficult or uncomfortable.”
“Be considerate of each other,” said Joi. “Do acts and activities the other person enjoys, not just things you enjoy. Love them in the way they need to be loved, and not just in the way that comes naturally to you.”
Happily ever after: The Mahands have two children, Katy, 20, and Matthew, 16.
Joi, 44, is an East Lake native, and Ramsay High School grad. She attended Berea College [Berea, Kentucky], where she earned a bachelor’s degree in business management, and the University of Alabama, where she obtained a master’s degree in library and information studies. She works for the University of Alabama as the assistant director of The School of Library and Information Studies and is an adjunct professor for the Library Information program.
Thalmus, 49, is a Titusville native, and Homewood High School grad. He attended Alabama A&M University where he earned a bachelor’s degree in marketing, and a master’s degree in business administration [MBA]. He is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc. and works as an enterprise care center supervisor for State Farm Insurance.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
