BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
ZEPHANIAH ‘ZAY’ & DARREN ALLEN
Live: Gardendale
Married: Dec. 2, 1995
Met: February 1992, in Mary Burke Hall at the University of Alabama. Darren, who had grown up singing in his church’s choir and playing the organ, was in the dorm’s co-ed recreation/parlor room playing the piano when Zay walked in and watched for a bit before making a song request. Zay said she was intrigued because she had a background in music, had grown up singing in her church choir, and was also in the school’s Afro American Gospel Choir.
“I was preparing for the next choir rehearsal and worship service at my church [First Baptist Church Woodward, in Brighton],” Darren said. “I went back home every week to play at the service [45 minutes away], but I think Zay was there [in the rec room] with her friend so I didn’t want to keep staring because it seemed she was taken, but it was clear that there was a mutual interest there to say the least.”
“I can’t remember which song I requested, but it was one of those popular 90s gospel songs,” Zay said. ‘He played that song and a few more… We sang together and made a little harmony. It was very nice, and at that time when I met him, I was dating someone else, but I thought he was a very talented, nice fella who liked to sing like me.”
The two became friends over the course of a year and a half as both were seeing other people. Both minored in English so they took many classes together, and their chemistry was so evident that even their professors noticed. One day, they came to class visibly upset with each other and a professor said, ‘I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you need to be dating each other’. Before long, they gave it a try.
First date/The Turn: April 1994, Zay was now a resident assistant and had an apartment in Rose Towers Hall on campus, while Darren was the director of Paty Hall, the men’s residence hall. One day, Zay invited Darren over for dinner and prepared fried chicken because her feelings had begun to change after Darren suddenly kissed her goodnight as he was leaving her apartment after the dinner.
“[That evening] we were writing our papers together for our English class and Darren got up to leave because he said I was a distraction and decided to go back to his place to finish his paper,” Zay said. “And on his way out, he kissed me goodbye and I was wondering what that meant.”
“Over dinner, we decided not to waste any more time with other people. We were spending all of our time together anyway, and that night solidified it,” Darren said.
The proposal: Nov. 1994, at Zay’s parents’ house in Opelika, Alabama, during Thanksgiving break.
“We had had conversations about getting married, and she agreed. And our parents were significantly different in age. Her parents were old enough to be my parents’ parents, so there was a lot of difference there. Her dad was a very traditional good man, he wanted respectability, and it was clear that he wanted the best for his daughter and I wanted him to know that I wanted the best for her,” Darren said. “And even though I had already asked Zay to marry me, I told her to wait and let me ask her father for her hand. I had bought a little ring, the best one that my money could buy, and after I talked to her dad I asked her to marry me while we were in the car sitting in front of her parents’ house. We were in a 5 speed, and we joked about how I was going to get on bended knee in the car, and I said, ‘well, I’m bowing now [imaginary bowing]. Let’s get married and make this thing work’,” Darren remembered. “And we returned to school engaged, and we were engaged for a year.”
“I was very elated, and very proud that he had chosen me,” said Zay. “He had a lot of talent, and at that point I sort of knew that he would become a preacher as well, and I felt like we had a very good future ahead of us. With joining together and fusing our talents and passions, I knew that we would have a very good marriage.”
The couple said their original wedding date was scheduled for the same date as the Iron Bowl, an annual college football rivalry game between Alabama and Auburn, but both sides of the couple’s family insisted they move the date as the longstanding rivalry game was a big deal to both families, so they obliged.
The wedding: In Tuscaloosa at Cornerstone Baptist Church, officiated by Adolphus Moody, of First Baptist Church, Woodward (Darren’s home church), and Overseer Earnest Palmer, of Cornerstone Baptist Church. Their colors were black, gold, and white.
Most memorable for the bride was, “us singing a duet to each other during our wedding. We sang, ‘Only God Could Love You More’. …we only had one chance to practice before the wedding, so we had to go for what we knew. And it worked out because Darren is not the type that likes to practice a lot [before a performance], and I like to practice as much as I can, so I was a bit nervous, but it came out beautifully,” said Zay.
The duet was so soulful that the moment “became worship,” Darren added. “My grandmother was like ‘what was that song, and can you do it again?’. And it became the most requested song from our friends to do at weddings…”
Most memorable for the groom was, “having [two of] my brothers and my dad there because [those three] are all gone now,” said Darren. “My younger brother died a few years after we were married, my dad passed away nine years later, and then my older brother died a year after my dad died. I had lost [the three of them] in a 10-year span, and I think back on how much of a blessing it was for three brothers from Brighton to be there [at the altar] together dressed in tuxedos looking like somebody… we laughed about a lot together that night. [Also] a lot of people showed up that we didn’t necessarily know or invite. People from Birmingham, [our hometowns], and professors [from UA] showed up… it was packed from the floor to the balcony.”
They honeymooned on a cruise to the Bahamas. “We flew to Florida a day before, and I was as sick as sick could be. We went because the trip was non-refundable and non-transferable, and those four days and five nights felt too long,” Darren said.
“I had a great time,” Zay laughed. “I love dancing and I danced with the crew every night….”
“…I sat up and watched as much as I could, it was beautiful to see my wife have such a good time,” Darren added.
Words of wisdom: Try to be able to compromise and have open lines of communication,” Zay said.
“Learn how to extend the same grace towards our spouses as God has extended towards us,” Darren said. “When you wrap your life around Jesus, it’s invariable that you will love, forgive, and want the best for them,” Darren said.
The Allen’s celebrated their 30th anniversary in Ghana, and said it was a “powerfully refreshing, spiritual experience for us…,” Darren said.
Happily ever after: The Allen’s attend Mount Zion Baptist Church of Cordova, Ala., where Allen serves as the pastor, and Zay in the music ministry. They have two children, a daughter, Zoë, 23, and a son, Zion, 17.
Zay, 53, is an Opelika [Lee County] native, and Opelika High School grad. She attended the University of Alabama where she earned a B.S. in science, and master’s degree in education. She is a member Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., and works as an educator [26 years], where she teaches 8th grade science at Bragg Middle School for Jefferson County Schools.
Darren, 53, is a Brighton, Alabama, native, Hueytown High School grad, and attended the University of Alabama where he earned a B.A. in history, and a master’s of higher education administration from Alabama. He is also a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. Darren retired in 2022 as the Dean at Lawson State Community College [Birmingham] and continues to work as an educational consultant and pastor.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
