By Je’Don Holloway-Talley | Special to the Birmingham Times
(First of Three Parts)
This Valentine’s Day, The Birmingham Times steps into the chambers of justice and the corridors of care to celebrate three extraordinary marriages where love lives at the intersection of duty and devotion. We shine a light on the relationships of three area judges and doctors who are building healthy bonds while serving a community shaped by history, faith, and resilience.
Love rises above all in the lives of Circuit Court Judge Fred Bolling and Brandi Bolling, M.D.; Circuit Court Judge David Hobdy and Cynthia Hobdy, M.D.; and Circuit Court Judge Reginald Jeter and Autumm Jeter, Ph.D.
On the bench, in the clinic, and in courtrooms, boardrooms, and state offices, these men and women are entrusted with the lives, liberties, and well-being of others. Yet at home, they are husbands and wives learning, like every couple, how to extend grace and use wisdom acquired over years of matrimony.
Over the next three days, we will share their love stories. Today, the Bollings; Friday, the Hobdys and on Saturday, the Jeters.
CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE FRED BOLLING & BRANDI BOLLING, M.D.
Live: Western Birmingham [Heritage] area
Married: May 26, 2012
Met: While Brandi remembers meeting Fred as a middle schooler at Our Lady of Fatima Catholic School in Birmingham, as he was her friend Angie’s big brother, and the son of the afterschool program director [John Bolling], Fred, who was five grades ahead, does not recall. However, during the early 2000’s, Fred was known to throw mega house parties, some of which Brandi attended. But it was not until 2009 when the pair officially connected at one of Fred’s friends’ birthday parties at the Carrington Lakes subdivision Clubhouse in Trussville. Brandi recalls being in Birmingham visiting for Easter Weekend.
“I recognized him from his house parties, so I walked up to him and said I remember you… He was the bartender, and we started talking, and at some point I said, ‘I don’t have my phone with me, but let me get your number because in three years I will need it when it’s time for me to review contracts [for employment],” Brandi said to Fred, who was then a practicing attorney. “I told him I’d call him when I got in the car so he could have my number, and I kept my word.”
Brandi went back to Indianapolis, where she was doing her residency, and gave him a call.
While Fred did not remember Brandi, the middle schooler, he was attracted to the grown woman who was pursuing a medical degree. “She mentioned something lucid about a contract, and jokingly said, ‘When I’m home [from Indianapolis], I like to go out to eat,” he laughed. “She was really cute and shapely, so when she called, we had our first real conversation, and we talked for eight hours. I told her that she worked me for a whole eight-hour shift [on the phone], and that I was not sure what kind of relationship we were going to have, but we were definitely going to be in some sort of a relationship,” said Fred.
Their first date was on Memorial Day weekend 2009, and over two years, the pair got to know each other long distance and would meet up bi-monthly, and whenever Brandi came home to Birmingham for visits. Brandi completed her residency in June 2011, and the couple got engaged Memorial Day weekend 2011, in Washington D.C., and married on Memorial Day weekend 2012, in Birmingham at 6th Avenue Baptist Church, where more than 600 guests attended.
Quality over quantity: Fred and Brandi’s connection was fast and strong, and both immediately saw that to make it work, they would have to do a lot of traveling. Which, according to them, neither minded.
“Both of us were [single] professionals, so it was not very hard to find times to meet up. We would travel and find places that were an equal distance for us and plan these trips to make sure we had time to see each other,” Fred said.
“Honestly, the relationship was easy; it really didn’t get demanding until recently, because there are children, aging parents, and what comes with the demands of a maturing life. His mother told me he has a bark that is bigger than his bite… being with Fred is pretty easy, we pretty much agree on everything, philosophically, spiritually, family [etc.], he is just headstrong, but that is not anything I cannot manage,” said Brandi.
“We just stayed on the phone. We enjoyed talking to each other. But she broke up with me every Sunday because she was mad that she was stuck in Indianapolis, cold and away from her family, and I was here in Birmingham with my family, but we always got back together that evening,” Fred laughed.
Brandi added, “Doing those short trips taught us how to make the best of a small amount of time, and we learned quality over quantity, and that has taught us how to make the best of small moments in our lives,” Brandi said.
Balancing the scales: Asked how they protect their connection despite both having demanding careers, Brandi said it is all about prioritizing. “For me, it is turning the work off. I control my schedule, and I have several professional obligations, so I have learned to delegate and simply say ‘no’ so that my family is always prioritized,” she said. “It is helpful being married to someone who is also a professional because he understands that sometimes, despite my best attempts, work will run over. But I am pretty good at ending the day and being done.”
For Fred, more freedom has come along as his career flourished.
“My new position [as a judge] is actually a lot more conducive to family time …, my schedule is pretty flexible, and we are very intentional about making sure family time is protected. There were a lot of additional networking things that I could have been doing that would always come secondary to me going out and spending time with my son at the football field and other people’s kids at the football field. I have always prioritized doing community work and community service,” said Fred, who also serves as Commissioner of Youth Sports for the City of Birmingham. “My wife says that you can work yourself to death if you want to, but what will happen [after death] is you’ll get a couple of flowers and cards from your job at best …”
Compartmentalizing: Brandi and Fred say it is the small things that count when it comes to helping one another alleviate stress from work. “We are both really good at compartmentalizing. I do not know that that is necessarily a good thing, but very seldom does work spill over because our obligation is to each other and our family,” Brandi said. “I am a really silly girl, and love to be touchy-feely, so I just like to get up under my man. Fred has a calm and stern voice, and when he says everything is fine and will be ok, it is reassuring. His voice alone is very reassuring. But a surprise lemon berry slush from Sonics always does the trick,” she added.
“As I was getting ready to come on to the bench, several of the judges who have mentored us all told us, ‘Hey, leave [the work] at the office.’ That was a confirmation that [I would need to do that] because it is what all of them were stating,” Fred said. “Beyond that, my philosophy has always been to leave it [work] at the office. When I wake up in the mornings, I go in and ask God to be with me. I make sure I am prepared, and I give the citizens my very best effort. I committed to my wife and family, and nothing is going to stand in the way of that.”
Fred recalls when Brandi was willing to help him carry financial weight, even before they were married, and that it opened his eyes to how deeply committed she was to him and their relationship.
“At the time that I was contemplating getting engaged, my previous law firm had a situation where we had not been paid for six or eight pay periods, and that was a significant amount of money. And so here I am, getting ready to propose to someone, and while I had a job, that job was not paying me… and in the midst of all that, my wife, unlike many, wrote a blank check and she told me how much money was in that particular account and she said, ‘I don’t know how you’re doing it without getting paid, but whatever you need out of this, just fill it in.’ And if I need to add more, let me know.’ Although I never had to use it, I realized at that point that her commitment to me meant that I was going to forever be committed to her.
“In Our Own Bubble”: “While the pandemic was a horrible time for the country, being forced to slow down really was a good thing for our marriage. We spent more time doing nothing, more time cuddling, and enjoying our then new home (in western Birmingham), and overall, it was a good reboot for our marriage after having just had our third baby and completing our family,” Brandi said. “It was a good time to re-spark things.”
Fred said, “We enjoy getting dressed up and stepping out and having fun. Brandi loves getting dressed up and putting on like a little Barbie doll, and if you see us out, it is never about the events that we attend; we are in our own bubble, joking with each other. And one of the most romantic things is sitting up each night laughing and joking about everybody else’s Facebook posts.”
Brandi added, “Romance is not always the long international getaway, or the walk-up beach resorts. It is trips to Disney World and Disneyland being planned in a week. It is watching our kids have their names on a [Disney] star, it is stolen moments, it is the knee tapping to say, ‘look at that.’ It is those small moments that we have mastered that our relationship and romance is based on.”
Lessons learned: Asked what marriage has taught them, Brandi answered, “A whole lot of patience. Anybody who knows my husband knows that I must have the patience of Job [in the Bible]. He really does have a loud bark, but inside that teddy bear is the squishiest heart of gold. It is about hanging in there and persevering,” she said.
“Patience has nothing to do with what most people think as it relates to major issues and concerns in marriage. Patience is resistance to the little, small things that are preferences as opposed to any major life issues. She likes to be silly, and I am not. I am silly in spurts, but I do not have to exercise a whole lot of patience with Brandi. She is pretty straightforward about the things she wants done,” said Fred. “But when it comes to purpose, our purpose is to be together, raise a family, and to love on each other.
“We understand our purpose very much. Our commitment is first to God, each other, our children, and the rest of our families. We just want to enjoy life and make each other smile,” added Brandi.
Happily, ever after: The Bollings attend Fred’s home church, Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Titusville, and Brandi’s home church, Mount Olive Baptist Church in Wenonah, where Brandi serves as a trustee. They have three children, Frederic, 11, Franklin, 9, and Faith, 7.
Brandi, 47, is a West End native and Ramsay High School graduate. She attended Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree in neuroscience, and Meharry Medical College [Nashville, Tenn.], where she obtained her M.D Brandi completed her residency at Indiana University School of Medicine, where she trained and later became board certified in pediatrics, adult psychiatry, and child and adolescent psychiatry. She is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., The Links, Inc., and Jack and Jill of America, Inc. Brandi runs a private practice, Rudolph Bolling Psychiatry P.C., in Birmingham.
Frederic, 52, is a College Hills native and John Carroll Catholic High School graduate. He attended Auburn University, where he earned a BA in Political Science, and Howard University School of Law in Washington, D.C., where he obtained his Juris Doctorate. Fred is a member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc., and practiced law for 27 years before taking the bench in January 2025 as Circuit Judge of the 10th Judicial Circuit and was also appointed as the Commissioner of Youth Sports for the City of Birmingham in January 2025.
