BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
MARIANNA AND DERRICK GRAY II
Live: Pelham
Married: Sept. 13, 2014
Met: September 2011, at a wedding at Woodlawn Park AOH Church, formally on Green Springs Highway. Derrick sang at the wedding, and Marianna attended with a mutual friend who introduced them. “The funny thing is there are several people who take ownership of introducing us, but I remember it being my friend LaTasha Archie, who introduced us after the wedding,” said Marianna.
“LaTasha introduced us and I was just like ‘girl, I ain’t paying him no attention’, but Derrick has these eyes … these hazel brown eyes were mesmerizing, and even though I wasn’t trying to pay him any attention, the eyes, along with his smile drew me in,” Marianna laughed.
“The first thing that I can remember is Marinna’s smile. She has pretty white teeth, and these dimples on the left side of her smile and that’s what caught me,” Derrick said, “and we struck up a conversation, but we didn’t exchange numbers.”
As months passed, the two crossed paths at church events because their churches were affiliated. However, a year later at another church event, they exchanged numbers and set a date for November.
First date: November 2012, at Applebee’s in Five Point West. “I was broke back then… Let’s just say I was in between blessings and I ain’t have nothing but $40 dollars in my pocket, but she didn’t know it,” Derrick laughed, “and I was praying she wanted to go for the two for $20 special.”
Derrick’s quiet prayer was answered. Marianna ordered wings from the special.
“I was nervous on the first date. And usually I can tear some wings up, but I only ate like two wings, and Derrick was like ‘you’re not going to eat your food’, and I said, ‘no, I’m not that hungry. But when I got home I tore them wings up,” Marianna laughed.
“The conversation was flowing and I got the chance to really know her and found out that we knew some of the same people, and that made me feel good.” Derrick said. “We talked about similarities that we had and I walked away feeling like this may go somewhere. I was apprehensive and trying to play it cool at the same time, but I was excited to see where it might go.”
The turn: Early 2013. Derrick said he doesn’t recall a conversation that defined their relationship, “it just flowed into it. Marianna started visiting me more at the house, and I would visit at hers, and it just ended up happening.”
The proposal: Marianna’s birthday, Nov. 1, 2013, at Vestavia Hills Sibyl Temple. Marianna thought she was getting dolled up for a simple birthday dinner, but Derrick had other plans.
“He blindfolded me when I got in the car, and we rode around the city for some time. He was trying to give everyone time to get there…,” Marianna recalled. “And when we got there, I remember having to walk up all these stairs, and when I finally got to the top of the stairs, I took the blindfold off and I was surrounded by all my family and friends. [People] from Huntsville, and Georgia even came up to support.”
As Marianna tried to regain her bearings and take in the sea of faces, Derrick slipped behind her and got down on one knee. “Finally, I was like ‘where is Derrick?’ And everybody said, ‘turn around, and he was there on one knee,’” said Marianna.
“Her friend, Mekeyshia Walton, helped me plan the whole day. We had the outfit picked out, she went and got her hair, nails, and lashes done, the whole nine. And when I got to her and we got in the car, I took out my blindfold, and she was like ‘what you doing?’ I guess she didn’t trust nobody from Ensley,” Derrick laughed. “When [I got her up the stairs] and she turned around to me, I had the ring box open and I gave her my ‘lil mack daddy’ spiel. I said, ‘I appreciate you, and I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?’ And since it was so cold outside, and I told her she had to say ‘yes’ because the cold had my knees hurting,” he laughed. “She said ‘yes’ and she’s been saying ‘yes’ ever since.”
Derrick reserved a large party room at the Olive Garden in Hoover for everyone to celebrate and have dinner together after the proposal.
The wedding: At New Jerusalem AOH Church of God, in Center Point, officiated by Marianna’s uncle, Bishop Lawrence Williams from Washington. Their colors were purple, gray, and white.
Most memorable for the bride was being serenaded by her groom. “Instead of [saying traditional vows], Derrick actually composed a song, and put his promises and commitments in it,” Marianna said. “The song is called ‘For Eternity’. This was a surprise, I did not know he was going to do that. And of course, I was already nervous and emotional, but now I’m crying and shaking, I was all over the place. That moment was very special to me because I had never heard of anyone writing their vows in a song and singing them.”
The groom shares a similar memory. “I remember being nervous the night before and practicing the song with my boy Rod. I was asking him how he thought it would go … And [when it came time to sing the song] I was so nervous my voice cracked, and there was one tear that came down my eye while I was singing to my bride,” Derrick said. “It was special, and seeing her reaction to the song was incredible.”
The couple took a honeymoon cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. Derrick said, “We were young, dumb, and full of energy. We decided we would drive all the way to Miami the day after our wedding to catch the cruise out of Florida. And we almost missed the ship because we parked at the wrong loading dock,” Derrick laughed. Needless to say, “we haven’t driven that far since. Now we know to just catch the flight,” Marianna said. “We were so tired that we went straight to sleep when we got on the boat and didn’t wake up till about 4 a.m. the next morning, hungry, and in the middle of the sea,” Derrick added.
Words of wisdom: “Continue to date, and share laughter,” Marianna said.
“I say to keep it ‘hot’, and hot is an acronym for keeping ‘honest, open, and transparent,’” Derrick said. “Being honest with each other is critical, and building a safe space where you all can be open; we call it our ‘gray-space’. It’s a play on our name, but it’s an area where we disengage our emotions and can be open with each other without hurting the other’s feelings or making them upset. It’s like, can you accept this honesty, or do we have to keep walking on eggshells? People lose a lot of trust in relationships due to not being transparent, and it’s critical for a lasting healthy relationship. And as long as she keeps it ‘hot’, I’m a keep on dating her.” Derrick laughed.
“You killed that, babe,” Marianna laughed, and added, “I second all that.”
Happily ever after: The Grays attend Joyful News Family Church in Pinson, where Derrick serves as a staff pastor, and Marianna on the intercessory ministry. They have three children: Derrick (Tre) lll, 9, Yanis, 7, Niyah, 4.
Marianna, 33, is a Fairfield native, and Hoover High School grad. She attended The University of Alabama at Birmingham [UAB], where she studied psychology, and works in the health care field.
Derrick, 38, is an Ensley native, and Jackson Olin High School grad. He attended Miles College, where he earned a dual bachelor’s degree in business administration and accounting and works for the City of Birmingham as the budget officer.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
