7 Tips For Being Alone, But Not Lonely

A few nights ago I was having dinner with friends and our conversation landed on the topic of being alone. One of my table mates made the statement that singlehood is acceptable in other cultures, but somehow a “single” or “alone” status in America symbolizes “unbalance”, “undesirable” and “incomplete.” Just then, while waiting for the appetizer and snacking on the salad, I had an epiphany; my proverbial super hero cape materialized, my spandex one-piece suit with my “At Home Girl” logo was apparent on my chest and my Wonder-Woman Go-Go boots replaced the heels I’d worn to dinner. The expressions on the faces of my friends said one thing… “Here she goes, she’s transforming into At Home Girl”, again!” I reached for a pen in my purse and a napkin on the table and began to write. I was certain I didn’t have the credentials to analyze, debate or the time or interest to tackle the validity of America’s opinion on being alone. But, I could hardly wait to share some practical tips on how to make being alone At Home an adventure and an opportunity to discover a new you.
A few years ago I wrote an article entitled Home Alone. The information was specific to preparing the home for latch-key kids and it gave age appropriate tips to moms and dads whose children were coming home to a parent or guardian-less environment. The kid’s version of home alone suggested parents make the child’s At Home experience welcoming by making the house clean, warm and uncluttered and giving the child or children defined, yet simple routines to adhere to. I shared the importance of providing clear expectations by leaving fun, colorful sticky notes around the house to give direction and words of love and affirmation. The notes were also a means to help children stay busy and productive in order to minimize or eliminate the time used to dwell on their fear of being home alone; understanding that being home alone in the beginning is as daunting for the child as it is for the parent.
Just as children may encounter seasons that force them to be home alone, we, because of death, divorce, termination of a bad relationship, empty-nest or any number of other circumstances can find ourselves living alone. Unfortunately fear will allow us to latch on to the people who cause us pain to avoid being alone. We may believe living or being alone is more traumatic than allowing others to misuse or abuse us. Whether being alone is a choice or the result of circumstances it can create anxiety, loneliness and uncertainty or be wonderfully freeing and invoke a needed and welcome change. At the end of a busy work day some will run home with excitement, anticipation and they live in the lap of productivity, and others will find excuses and search for ways to avoid the solitude.
There are small things that can be done At Home that can minimize the emotional stresses of being alone and build new, positive habits. However, before any structural repair or emotional improvement can occur, one thing is certain – we must make a conscious decision and believe that being alone At Home is not a punishment. It can be a reward or just a change regardless of what happened in the past. It is what happens now and in the future that will make our time alone a success.
Our At Home environment should always be a place of refuge from the deluge of outside tasks, issues, responsibilities and societal pressures. Our dwelling should be filled with positive reminders of who we are, our hopes, dreams and a place of rest for the mind and the body.

7 Tips for being Alone At Home:

1.    Be certain you are ready, willing and able to accept the situations that led up to this new season in life. Move forward.
2.    Discard items in your At Home environment that invoke sadness or depression or provoke negative feelings and images.
3.    Clean, brighten and re-organize. You have the right to begin anew.
4.    Replace discarded items by visiting home improvement and home decor stores to purchase paint, wall paper, mirrors, music, fragrances, home accessories and furnishings that embrace and compliment you. If finances are tight, try yard sales and thrift stores.
5.    If you are conditioned to cooking for more than one, visit specialty supermarkets and search the internet for quick recipes for one. Cook what you like. You may find that food preparation can take less time and you can have great fun exploring foods that tempt your taste buds.
6.    Make time to do new things At Home: Learn to enjoy bubble baths, watch a good movie or a wrestling match on television, and take an at home study course or grow a vegetable garden in the back yard.
7.    Post scriptures or affirmations in strategic places around your house that will speak positive words to your mind and heart.

Whether it is temporary or permanent, make your At Home alone time productive. It should be filled with adventure, exploration and improvement within your home and in you. Sometimes circumstances At Home force us to learn home repair to make our physical dwelling better and stronger. Changes in our At Home environment cause us to make repairs and improvements on ourselves and as a result we become personally better and stronger. Sometimes we can do it better… alone.

For comments or topics please click on www.athomewithshellie.com or email me at Athomewithshellie1@Yahoo.com
“I don’t have all the answers, but I know the One who does.”

(1) Royal Queen Makaila Perry, Escorted by Justin Filmore
(2) 1st Runner Up Princess Alexandria Jerigan, Escorted by Otis Jerigan, III
(3) 2nd Place Duchess Zahriya Miller, Escorted by Ronald Isaiah Bell
(4) Diamond Federated Club, Inc. Members

2014 Diamond Debutantes

Brianne Anderson            Jonerika Cheatham
Alexandria Jerigan            Kiley Johnson
Terrica Kelley            Brianna Lindsey
Asiah McKinstry            Aston McMillian
Zahriya Miller            Shakerida Nelms
Makaila Perry            Alexis Watts

Mrs. Caprenia Anthony, Mistress of Ceremonies of the Night

Diamond Federated Club, Inc.
Juanita Sanders, President
Brenda Green-Houston, Vice President

Members

Harriett Bell                    Edith Major
Verna Perry Blaylock            Octavia McKinney
Cecile Burton                Tangy Tannehill
Cynthia Conner                Jeanne Walker
Mattie Daniel                Joycelyn Whatley
Edwina Hampton                Pamela Williams
Sandra Lewis                 Sharon Wrigh

5 Red Flags to Avoid on Your Return


By: Rick Rodgers, CFP
It is no secret that one of the biggest fears people have is receiving an audit notice from the IRS. It ranks right up there with being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Of course, the IRS does nothing to alleviate this fear because the more frightened you are, the less likely you will be to cheat on your taxes.
The IRS audited one out of every 104 tax returns in federal fiscal year 2013. It’s becoming increasingly evident that the greater your total income, the more you’ll attract the agency’s attention. Last year, the IRS audited about 10.85 percent of taxpayers with income greater than $1 million. The audit rate dropped to 0.88 percent for those with income less than $200,000.
Some of the audits were taxpayers pulled at random. The rest of the returns are selected for examination in a variety of ways.
Lowering your IRS profile will help minimize your chances of being audited.  Here are five ways to help you stay off the audit list.
1. Large Itemized Deductions: The IRS has established ranges for the amount of itemized deductions based on a taxpayer’s income. Deductions that exceed the statistical “norm” for a given state and region may be red-flagged for a closer look. This does not mean that you shouldn’t take legitimate deductions. Your deductions could exceed the IRS range due to high medical expenses and large charitable contributions. Take all valid tax deductions – just be sure you keep your backup documentation.
2. Self-Employment Income: The IRS believes that the vast amount of underreported income occurs among the self-employed. Self-employed taxpayers are audited by the IRS far more frequently than those who receive a W-2 for wages. People who are employed by others and receive W-2 income but also run a business that reports a loss are especially high on the IRS radar screen. You will need to be able to prove you are operating a business with the intention of earning a profit and not just trying to write off the expenses of a hobby. You will need to be able to pass both the “passive loss” and “hobby loss” rules in order for the deductions to stick.
3. Business Expenses: Big deductions for business meals, travel and entertainment are always ripe for audit. A large write-off will raise red flags if the amount seems too high for the business.  Taxpayers claiming 100 percent business use of a vehicle is also a huge red flag. The IRS knows it’s extremely rare for an individual to use a vehicle strictly for business.  The IRS looks for personal meals or claims that don’t satisfy the strict substantiation requirements.
4. Rental Properties: The IRS is scrutinizing rental real estate losses for those who claim to be real estate professionals.  You must meet two requirements:  1. More than half of the personal services are performed in real property trades or businesses in which you materially participate, and 2.You perform more than 750 hours of services in real property trades or businesses in which you materially participate.
5. Home Offices: Taxpayers who operate a business from their home are entitled to deduct the portion of their home that is dedicated to operating the business. The IRS believes that many taxpayers use this deduction as a means of writing off personal expenses and carefully scrutinize tax returns that claim the home office deduction. Claiming this deduction greatly increases the chances that your tax return will be audited. You should consult a tax expert to determine if you are entitled to claim this deduction. If the tax savings are minimal you may opt not to claim the deduction simply to avoid the scrutiny. For details, see IRS Publication 587.
There is no way to completely audit-proof your return, and if you do get an audit notice from the IRS, don’t take it personally. It does not mean the IRS believes your return is fraudulent. When you get a notice, pick up a copy of IRS Publication 1 “Your Rights as a Taxpayer.” Be courteous and helpful without volunteering more information than what is requested. Plan ahead so that you are organized and can answer questions promptly. Ask for a postponement if you need more time to prepare.
If you are a self-employed taxpayer or have unusual circumstances that place your return outside of the statistical norm, let a professional prepare the return. Self- prepared returns are themselves more likely to be audited. The IRS believes that a non-professional has limited knowledge of the 4,000 pages of tax code.
Tax law is complex. The fee charged by an Enrolled Agent or CPA can be easily justified by the peace of mind they bring if you get the dreaded audit notice.

NEW YORK –BLACK PR WIRE –(BUSINESS WIRE) – Tracey Gray-Walker, head of the Association Business at AXA, has been named to Savoy Magazine’s “Top 100 Most Influential Blacks in Corporate America” 2014 list. Gray-Walker joins some of the nation’s most accomplished executives and business leaders who were selected based on their exemplary record of accomplishments and influence within their company and community.
The Savoy Top 100 is the definitive listing of African-American influencers and achievers in corporate America. Selection of the “Top 100 Most Influential Blacks in Corporate America” begins by examining the landscape of spheres of influence impacting Savoy’s readership including corporate sector influence, scholastic achievement, career growth, community outreach and recognition.
“The 2014 Top 100 issue features the highest caliber of executive leadership in America’s corporations,” said L.P. Green, II, publisher of Savoy Magazine. “Savoy is honored to feature such a powerful collection of inspirational leaders reaching new heights of achievement in business.”
In her role as head of AXA’s Association Business, Gray-Walker has been instrumental in driving the growth and influence of AXA as a leading provider of retirement planning services in the association and affinity group marketplace, in which AXA grew its affiliated membership by 44 percent in under one year. Her efforts have led to exclusive partnerships from leading associations, including the National Small Business Association and Yoga Alliance, the largest nonprofit association representing yoga teachers, schools and studios in the U.S. Prior to taking on this role, Gray-Walker held the position of chief diversity officer for AXA, where she was integral in building AXA’s industry-leading diversity and inclusion programs and strengthening the company’s culture of inclusion.
“We are extremely proud that Tracey has received this well-deserved recognition,” said Nick Lane, head of AXA’s U.S. Life and Retirement business. “In her prior role as chief diversity officer, she championed the advancement of AXA’s goal to foster a diverse and inclusive work environment. As head of our Association Business, Tracey brings her energy and commitment to continually enhancing our value proposition. Her broad industry experience and exemplary leadership have been key drivers in the growth of AXA’s Association business.”
Outside of AXA, Gray-Walker lends her time and experience to a number of organizations, including serving on the board of directors for The Executive Leadership Council and Youth Bridge of New York.
In 2007, she was featured in the Profiles in Diversity Journal as one of its “Women Worth Watching.” In addition, Gray-Walker was also recognized by the Girls Scouts of Greater New York as one of their 2012 “Women of Distinction.”

Guyton still carries the physical scars from the day that his biological mother tried to kill him at the Walker Regional Medical Center in Jasper, Alabama, the same hospital in which he was born to collect a $25,000 insurance policy when he was only two months old. However, he said an encounter with Christ while in prison has healed his emotional wounds.
His mother poisoned him with hydrochloric acid and castor oil in his bottle of milk. The acid burned the left side of his face and shoulder. His nose also collapsed leaving him with no choice but to breathe exclusively through his mouth, because he had no nasal passages.
He underwent two years of surgeries and skin grafts; one year in Walker Regional Medical Center and another year in Children’s Hospital in Birmingham, Alabama. Immediately after being released from the hospital, he was given to foster care until age 4, when his paternal grandmother was given custody. Shortly thereafter, anger and rebellion took over his life.
Guyton was involved in various assault and battery cases as a juvenile and later entered the Alabama penal system for first degree assault with a life sentence. From the words of Mr. Guyton, “My incarceration became my liberation. God will take you through hell just to get you to Heaven.”
Miraculously, he only served four years and was released. After he made a decision to serve Christ, he found the strength to forgive his mother, make amends with her, and share his story abroad. “God loaned me a story for His glory. My divine obligation is to tell it everywhere I go,” said Guyton.
He is now the author of the book, The Chosen One: A Touch From Above, which is his autobiography. Guyton’s book is available online @ createspace.com/4271135 and Amazon.
After years of allowing his mother’s choice to negatively impact his life, he now accept it as God’s will and is traveling the world encouraging others. You can view his story on YouTube under (Demetrius P. Guyton) and also by googling (Demetrius Final).  Demetrius P. Guyton is an inspirational/motivational speaker. For any engagements, email guytonchosen1@hotmail.com; twitter (@mrsldgx2), facebook (Demetrius P. Guyton), or 1(205) 613-4339 *Blessings be upon you!!!*