BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
MALINDA T. AND ERIC WHITE
Live: Fultondale
Married: Oct. 24, 2009
Met: January 2009, at Faith Chapel in Wylam. Malinda, a minister, caught Eric’s eye when she first entered the sanctuary, but it was her moving prayer before the congregation that led him to ask a friend who she was.
“She was very attractive, and once she got up and started praying it piqued my curiosity even more because I saw that she had a deep relationship with God,” Eric said. “My friend, Tony Hearns, said if you’re going to approach her you’re going to have to be right in your walk with God, and I said, ‘I’m ok with that.’ So, I walked up to her after service and began talking to her and that day we got familiar with one another. I shared some things [about myself] and she shared things [about herself]…”
The pair did not exchange numbers that day, as Malinda was in a hurry. “I really wasn’t into the conversation at that point, but only because I was trying to leave. [In the weeks to follow] we had a couple of events at the church, and we had a singles conference, and I saw him worshiping God and I had never seen a man worship and freely express his love for God the way that he did,” said Malinda. “I saw tears rolling down his eyes, he’d get on his knees, and it seemed to me like he saw no one else there, like it was just him and God. That’s how attuned his worship was. … and every Sunday after church, he would come up and talk to me and one of my friends noticed he’d [taken an interest in me], and she said I needed to pay special attention to him. So from that moment, I had been waiting quietly for him to ask for my number, and one month went by and he hadn’t asked, and at six weeks, he still hadn’t asked, so I took out a sheet of paper and wrote my number down on it and just gave it to him, Malinda laughed.”
First date: March 2009. The pair met for coffee at a Starbucks in Hoover. “We spent a lot of time talking, laughing, and enjoying one another. From my end, I thought it was a fantastic date. I got to know more about her, her family, and her relationship with her parents. I learned she had a sibling who’d passed…. I got to know a lot more about her outside the church and it caused me to look at her in a deeper way,” Eric said.
“I thought the date was very refreshing. It was nice to be able to talk about my life. For instance, I had a daughter that was killed in a car accident… and he had the right words and actions. He didn’t say much, he just held my hand. He understood and was able to empathize with where I was in my life, and how strong I was to have overcome so many things and said that I had the victory,” Malinda said. “And for the first time in a long time I felt alive. I was able to express myself authentically without reservation. I am a person that likes to talk, and he just listened and he listened so intently that he could spit back everything I said and he made me feel special and like he was interested. I had a smile plastered across my face and it didn’t leave when the date was over, I [wore that smile all day].”
The turn: May 2009, over the phone. Malinda was home in Fultondale, and Eric was home in Pelham.
“I brought the conversation up,” Eric said. “I really felt a connection with her after we had been talking for a while and knew there was more to it than a friendship. I felt like we should be exclusive to see where the relationship could go, and I wanted it to go to the next stage so I called her and told her what was on my heart and mind to see where she was, and what her thoughts were.”
“I couldn’t resist any longer,” said Malinda. “From the time we met, he told me ‘you’re gonna fall in love with me’, and I thought this guy sure is confident. And when he asked me [to be exclusive], that thought came to mind. Little did he know that I had already fallen in love with him. It was something that I had been anticipating and the answer was ‘yes’. It was like a prophecy had come to pass and by that time I was deeply in love with him.”
The proposal: July 4, 2009, at Malinda’s mother’s home in Irondale for a holiday barbecue.
“I called her mom to see if they were going to have anything for the 4th, and to let them know what my plans were. I had already asked for [her hand in marriage]. So I called her friend, Marcella Roberts, to help me get everyone there,” said Eric.
With the additional help, Eric made it seem as though all of Malinda’s friends and extended family were present to celebrate Marcella’s birthday.
“After we finished cooking, I asked everyone to come in so we could pray over the food and sing Happy birthday to Marcella and I said ‘I know we are here for Marcella’s birthday, but I have something to say’. I got down on one knee and took the ring out and asked Malinda if she would marry me, and she was shocked,” Eric said. “Everybody started jumping up and down, and Malinda accepted my proposal.”
“I was thinking he sure is smart [because] how did he know this was exactly what I wanted? I didn’t want anything elaborate, I didn’t want him to take me on a trip, I wanted it to be intimate and with my family present because my family is important to me… I was overwhelmed with him and God because I felt like God had answered my prayers and I was so full of gratitude I just fell to my knees…”
Although grateful, Malinda said she didn’t respond right away. “First I wanted to see the ring,” she laughed, “and the ring was bling blinging. Sometimes love is love at first sight, but sometimes love evolves. And the thing that I loved most about Eric was that he was patient.”
The wedding: At Faith Chapel in Wylam, at 11 AM, officiated by Minister Connie Blaylock, of Faith Chapel. Their colors were peach, teal, and brown.
Memorable for the bride was when Eric read the vows that he wrote to her. “He took out a sheet of paper and he read his vows to me, and the last thing he said was ‘you are my wife for life’ and that is a mantra that we say all the time,” said Malida. “His vows were so personal, intimate, and soulful that when he finished, everybody in the sanctuary got up and started clapping.”
Memorable for the groom was their exit from the sanctuary at the end of the ceremony. “We kinda danced our way out. It was the music and the excitement… it was a rap song, and all the bridesmaids and groomsmen danced out, it was a big celebration of a new beginning,” said Eric.
They honeymooned in Nashville. “It wasn’t really a honeymoon, we just got away for the weekend,” Malinda said. “…. during the drive we reminisced about the wedding, our courtship, it just gave us an opportunity to [reflect] because everything [their courtship] went so fast, and finally we could be together as man and wife in the same bed,” she laughed.
Words of wisdom: “Communication, but I want to make it known that it’s more than talking. One is talking and the other is listening to actually hear the heart of what the other is saying so that you are listening to act upon, and change to make the marriage better,” Eric said.
“Make space for fun. Remember the moments and why you fell in love and keep yourself grounded in that because life will life, and storms will come. But if you keep laughing and make space for fun, you’ll always keep your marriage alive and fresh.”
Happily ever after: The White’s attend Faith Chapel in Wylam, where Malinda serves as the senior director of growth and development (staff), and Eric as a lay minister. They’re a blended family with one adult daughter from Eric’s previous relationship, Taketa Nelson, and five grandchildren.
Malinda 62, is a Birmingham native and West End High School grad. She attended Tuskegee University, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in k-12 education, and Samford University, where she received a master’s degree in educational leadership. She is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. and runs a speaking and consulting business called the Forward Company LLC., and is a part of the Momentum Executive Leadership, class of 2025.
Eric, 62, is a Montgomery native, and Carver High School grad [Montgomery]. He attended Rhema Bible College online, where he obtained a diploma in biblical studies, and Jefferson State Community College, where he earned an associate’s degree in bio-med equipment technology. Eric is retired from Birmingham Logistics as a truck driver. He spends his retirement volunteering in ministry at Faith Chapel, and mentors and coaches young men in spiritual development.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
