By: Mia Watkins | For the Birmingham Times
Kwoya Fagin Maples & Marcus Maples
Live: Vestavia Hills
Married: August 8, 2009
Met: One dance was all it took to set Kwoya Fagin Maples and Marcus Maples. The two met at a party at the University of Alabama’s The Venue.
“She was flanked by two guys,” Marcus said. “They were talking to her, trying to engage with her, trying to woo her. She was dancing around a little bit while she was seated. I knew she didn’t want to talk. She wanted to dance. I saw her across the room, made my way across the dancefloor, and I extended out my hand. I didn’t say anything to her. I just looked at her and extended my hand out, and she forgot about those two other guys.”
Kwoya said that she was struck by his confidence in that moment.
“I was trying to show the other guys who were there that this is how it’s done,” she said. “You need to be decisive and confident. I had been sitting there with one guy for a long time. He never asked me to dance, but I knew he wanted to. He was just too nervous to, and that’s probably the reason I said yes.”
First date: But it wasn’t love at first sight. Kwoya turned Marcus down when he asked if she wanted to go out. After a few more interactions, he finally struck gold.
“Finally, the thing she said yes to was I asked her if she wanted to go grab coffee, and when I said coffee, something kind of lit up inside her,” he said. “I was like, ‘Yeah, we can go to Crimson Cafe.’ I didn’t know that that was her coffee shop. That was somewhere that she always was all the time, so it was very disarming for me to say to meet there.”
This time, he asked for her number. She didn’t relent.
“I was like, ‘How are we going to know to be there?’” Marcus said.
“I said, ‘I’ll be there,’” Kwoya replied.
Till this day, she still has the sticky note reminder she wrote to herself.
She said she remembers dressing casually because she wanted to be completely herself. Kwoya arrived about 10 minutes late, but Marcus still hadn’t arrived
“I was like, ‘Wait, I’m late, and you’re not here?’ she said. “I stood there for a second, still a few more minutes, and he wasn’t there. Then I felt dumb. Of course, I didn’t have a way to reach out to him because we hadn’t exchanged contact information. I remember feeling just embarrassed, and I had a lump in my throat. Then, I was leaving and got to my car. The book that I was reading was on the front seat of my car. I was just like, you know what, I’m just going to sit here and read. I was going to salvage my afternoon and enjoy the rest of my time there. I was already at my favorite place.”
As she was walking back in, Marcus was coming in through a side door. It turns out, he overslept.
After Marcus showed up, Kwoya said the rest of the date felt like a business meeting because Marcus was asking a lot of questions.
“It felt very stilted,” she said. “It didn’t feel very romantic to me.”
“I just wanted to get to know this person,” he remembers. “The way that you get to know a person is you ask a lot of questions. You find out the information, and you’re looking for any disqualifying factors.”
Marcus said that his previous relationships were with women he already knew.
“With her, there was an immediate connection,” he said. “I was trying to find out all the additional facts.”
The second date, a dinner, was more romantic, Kwoya said. She was running late but this worked in their favor.
“Him waiting for me was very romantic and endearing to me,” she said. “It meant a lot to me. When I finally came outside, he gave me this huge bouquet of yellow flowers. I said, ‘I’m so sorry that I’m late.’ He said, ‘You’re worth the wait.’ For me, that’s what made it get into the romance arena for me.”
The turn: The couple was intentional throughout their dating journey. Kwoya said she took Marcus seriously from the beginning.
“I had kind of already made that decision that I wouldn’t date him if I couldn’t see myself marrying him,” she said. “I think I knew I wanted to marry him probably two or three months into dating. I knew that I wanted to always be with him. We were pretty much inseparable after like the third week.”
Marcus said the two had a beautiful courtship. He only took his time proposing because he wanted to secure a job and a house after finishing law school.
“When we got engaged was more about me being prepared to be engaged and have a wedding and less about me being sure about her,” he said. “I was always all in.
The engagement: After three years of dating, Marcus popped the question while the couple was visiting Kwoya’s parents in Charleston, South Carolina. The two went out for breakfast downtown on the Charleston Harbor during Thanksgiving weekend.
“She had always talked about the role of The Battery in her childhood, and I wanted to make sure that I incorporated that.”
The night before, Marcus had asked for Kwoya’s hand in marriage.
“Her dad was hilarious because he was like, ‘You’re just going to have to talk to her. I can’t give you my daughter,” Marcus remembered with a laugh.
“We had breakfast, and she always talks about how nervous I was,” he said.
Kwoya said she remembers feeling something coming, but she didn’t know it was a ring.
Marcus said he was so nervous that he couldn’t get the ring out of his pocket.
“The ring was in a box, and I couldn’t get the box out of my pocket,” he said. “I was fumbling with that. But I told her she was the one. I remember saying that in my long, nervous speech. But I was disappointed because I didn’t get a chance to open the ring box before she said yes. She didn’t even look at the ring before she said yes. I guess that’s a good thing.”
Kwoya remembers being touched by his words during the proposal.
“I was like, ‘Thank you for trusting me,” she said. “I was overwhelmed by the fact that he had pushed past any sort of barrier, doubt, all of that. That’s what I was very moved by.”
Afterwards, it all sank in.
“I remember as we were driving away and she had on the ring, she was like, ‘We’re going to live together!” Marcus said. “I don’t think Kwoya is the girl who has been planning her wedding since she was a kid and had the dress picked out. She was experiencing all that for the first time.”
The wedding: The nuptials were in Charleston at Sea Coast Chapel, and the reception was at Ion Creek Club on the water. The colors, fitting into their coastal theme, were pool green and eggplant.
Marcus said he remembers two things about the day — seeing Kwoya for the first time that day while she was walking down the aisle and their sendoff.
“The ushers pulled the doors open, and it was like I couldn’t catch my breath,” he said. “She was just perfect. One of my buddies said he never watches the bride; he always watches the groom. He was like I was probably the best ever, he thought I was going to pass out. She was gorgeous.”
For the sendoff, Marcus was able to surprise Kwoya by departing from the dock in a boat.
“I just love how surprised she was,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure we did that for her. As we boarded the boat and turned to look back, it sounds sappy, but it was a made-for-TV moment. I looked at the shoreline, and the beautiful Ion Creek Club was in the background and all of our guests were there all along the dock.”
Kwoya said she remembered being calm.
“I wouldn’t expect to be calm because it’s your wedding day,” she said. “I was calm the entire day. I didn’t cry one tear all day.”
The honeymoon: The two vacationed in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
“We didn’t do anything,” Marcus said. “We were so tired after the wedding, we felt like the wedding was a lot. We just hung out on the beach.”
Words of wisdom: Marcus advises other couples to seek out the biblical version of marriage.
“I do think understanding the biblical definition of marriage and trying to get your relationship to conform to what God intended for marriage is really important,” he said. “He’s a part of your marriage.”
He also says couples should think more about their partners.
“Those are things that are really hard for newly married people to understand,” he said. “It takes time, intentionality and leaning in.”
Kwoya said that it takes time to grow a successful marriage.
“It’s like you have a wedding, but that’s just the cover of a book,” she said. “It’s not the contents. It takes time for the merger to happen. It’s a slow coming together. Getting to that place where you’re considering the other person, that’s a slow thing that happens. I think there’s a danger in comparing yourself to couples who have been married longer. You can have expectations, not knowing that the couple has actually grown into that place.”
Happily ever after: The couple has three daughters, including a set of twins, ages 13 and 11. Kwoya is a poet, a professor at the University of Alabama and a woodworker. Marcus is a shareholder at the Baker Donelson law firm. They attend Faith Chapel Church.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column or know someone, please send nominations to editor@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s), and what makes their love story unique.
