BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
LORETTA & FRED HILL
Live: Margaret, Ala. [near Leeds/Argo]
Married: April 11, 1987
Met: Late August 1986. Loretta, a “PK’ [pastors’ kid], attended her father’s church, Miracle Hill, in Pell City, while Fred attended, Refuge Church, in Talladega where his uncle pastored. The pair had long known of each other. Loretta knew his brothers and was four years older than he was.
That summer in 1986, Fred and Loretta were preparing to go to an international convention for their church organization [Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ (COOLJC)], and Fred was asked to assist Loretta in preparing the registration packages for the convention.
“He came to my house to help me put the packages together and I fed him dinner, so that was brownie points right there,” Loretta said. “And while we didn’t ride to the convention together, once we got there, he kept up with me. He wanted to know where I was going to dinner, where I was eating lunch, etc. And at the end of the convention, I told him, ‘Now you have taken up my time here at the convention, so what are your intentions with me once we get back,” Loretta laughed. “So, we rode back together, and planned our first date”
“I had to keep up with her to protect me from all the other women,” Fred said. “I’m joking, but that’s the truth. I was trying to get to know her and spend some time with her.”
Fred said he was a bit hesitant because Loretta “smiled too much and you know what they say, ‘a smile ain’t nothing but a frown turned upside down’ and in my mind, too much smiling meant somebody was masking something.”
But the more he got to know her the more he liked her and wanted to take her out, he said.
Loretta added, “And while he was thinking I smiled too much, I was thinking he was arrogant, a know-it-all, and a real matter-of-fact type of person; he was very rough around the edges.”
“It’s called cultural differences,” Fred clarified. “We had different family dynamics. I came from a large family and we didn’t have time to [explore feelings] …
“And I only had one brother, and believed in being politically correct, and nice in how you say things,” Loretta added.
The opposites were obviously attracted to one another and set their first date.
First date: Fall 1986, at Six Flags Over Georgia. At the time, Loretta lived in Birmingham and was a nurse at Children’s of Alabama, and Fred was living in Lincoln, Ala. [near Talladega/Anniston] and working at a factory so Loretta drove up and stayed with her parents so they could go on their date.
“It was a really good time for us,” Loretta said. “Waiting in line, we got a chance to talk and get to know each other better. We got on some water rides and by the time we got back home [to Lincoln], my hair was a mess,” she laughed.
“It was the first time it was just us spending time together without interruption. It was a day of relaxation, we just walked and talked and enjoyed the rides. On the way back, we stopped and had a nice dinner. It was a great day,” said Fred.
The turn: After Six Flags, the pair essentially skipped a traditional courtship, and days after their first date, Fred proposed. Loretta said she had been praying God would send her husband, and that was why Fred’s fast proposal didn’t startle her.
“He came to see me one day after he got off work [from the factory in Lincoln] and we went to the park and walked and talked, and we knew we were really attracted to one another and wanted to do what was right and didn’t want to be tempted to be sinning … Fred asked me will you marry me, and I thought he was kidding at first, but he was serious. So I said ‘yes,’ and we kind of kept it to ourselves for a little while because we knew it would seem like it was quick to everybody,” Loretta recalled.
“And people would ask me how I knew she was the one so quick, and I said I knew a bad relationship when I saw one, and I knew a good one when I was standing in front of it,” Fred said.
The proposal: Two weeks later, Fred presented Loretta with a ring. People began to notice her newly decorated finger. “At first, we had set the date for June [1987], and then we said, ‘what we are waiting for? why so far out?’ So then we moved it up to April the 11th, three days before my 30th birthday,” Loretta said.
The wedding: At Loretta’s father’s church, Miracle Hill Church in Pell City, officiated by Fred’s uncle/pastor, Bishop Milton Hill of Refuge Church, in Talladega. Their colors were blue and apricot.
Most memorable for the bride was arriving at an undecorated sanctuary the day of her wedding. “The church was not decorated because the wedding planner’s van broke down on the interstate, so the wedding started 30 minutes late. But what meant the most to me was that the day had finally come,” Loretta said. “When they opened the doors for me to walk down the aisle and I saw Fred standing at the altar, he was looking so fine,” Loretta laughed, “and I was like, ‘it’s happening, it’s really happening’.
Most memorable for the groom was “seeing Loretta walk up the aisle. I was like, ‘there she goes, here comes my woman’,” Fred reminisced. “And one thing that stood out was that there was no doubt or nervousness, I felt good about the whole thing. I was relaxed and smiling. We were both smiling.”
Honeymoon: In Panama City, Florida. “The day after the wedding we woke up and went to breakfast at Morrison’s [in Panama City, FL] and looked at each other and said, ‘we’re married’. It had really hit home for us,” Fred said.
“And I said, ‘do you feel any different?’,” Loretta added. “We were happy, but we were wondering if we were supposed to feel different on the inside,” she laughed. “And I had been living on my own for years, and I remember sleeping with Fred the first night and sleeping in his arms felt like I was sleeping on a log. He was muscular, and I wasn’t used to sharing a bed. But it was a nice feeling knowing that we could sleep together and God be pleased.”
Words of wisdom: “It’s important to learn how to effectively communicate with each other, and even the timing of those conversations because you’re going to have to have some critical conversations and they’re crucial…,” Loretta said. “And we truly believe that God has to be in the center of your relationship, and that you keep building on that foundation. And you keep the spark alive by still doing things together and not allowing yourselves to grow too distant. Continue to work on your relationship because you have to continue learning each other as you grow.
“God’s math is different from our math. It takes one whole person, plus one whole person to make a whole [union]. You can’t come into the relationship half a man and half a woman and think you’re going to make one. That’s not ‘God-addition’,” Fred said. “And the reason why is because although you’re growing together, you still have to have freedom within the marriage to still grow [individually]. And you have to support each other in that growth process because if one grows and the other doesn’t, then you’ll have an unequal marriage.
Happily ever after: The Hill’s pastor Greater Refuge Church, in Pleasant Grove, and Loretta serves as the Alabama Diocese Missionary President of the Church of Our Lord Jesus Christ [COOLJC]. They run a couples ministry called ‘YouNiquely One’, where the couple administers relationship coaching, and have one daughter and a son-in-law, Jasmine and Isaac Jones, and four granddaughters.
Loretta, 68, is a Lincoln, Ala. native, and Talladega County High School grad [Lincoln, Ala.]. She attended the University of Alabama at Birmingham [UAB], where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing, and Samford University where she obtained a master’s degree in nursing education. Loretta is a member of Sigma Theta Tau International Honors Society of Nursing and retired from Children’s of Alabama as a nurse educator after 40 years, and also worked for Central Alabama Community College [Childersburg], as an associate nursing professor. Loretta is a published author, and ‘A Call to Prayer’ is available on Amazon. “It tells of a great miracle in my life,” she said.
Fred, 64, is a Lincoln, Ala. native, and Talladega County High School grad [Lincoln, Ala.] He attended Southeastern Bible College, where he earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Leadership Ministry, and a Master of Divinity in Theology and Apologetics, and Liberty University [Lynchburg, Virginia], where he obtained a Doctorate of Ministry. Fred is a published author, A Proactive Approach to Leadership Transition in Ministry’, and has been in ministry for the last 36 years and has pastored Greater Refuge Church for more than 30 years. Fred has served as a hospice chaplain for Amedisys Hospice Services for the past 13 years.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
