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A Good Fit – Until It’s Not

By Keisa Sharpe-Jefferson

There comes a point where some things that are currently in your life are no longer a good fit. And by recognizing that someone or something no longer fits in your life, it simply means that you are choosing to put you first.

For some of you, especially my empaths (who feel more empathy than an average human), it may sound scary at first to choose your own needs, wants and desires over another. But I believe, to live your life to the fullest, it is a necessary choice that confronts us all.

There will come a time that you will have to choose you – your sanity, your peace, your progression, your happiness and your own idea of what a fulfilled life looks like. In my opinion, an empath embodies the idea of being my brother’s or sister’s keeper because they understand how to tap into what others are feeling and are truly able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Sounds noble, right? That is until those “other” shoes start producing pain. It is at that point, a choice must be made. Let me paint a quick picture: We can recognize this right away when we look at our own shoes. When we are tired and our shoes are hurting, pinching or squeezing our feet – but we still need to get to our destination – it is the definition of misery. We’ve all been there, but, we simply make the adjustment and get rid of, repair or replace those shoes.

Now, imagine stepping into someone else’s shoes. Those shoes may be too small, too large, or floppy and unstable. In other words, you’re wearing something that not only fits you, but can also injure you.

I remember I was so in love with a pair of my mother’s shoes that I chose to wear them even though they were a little too big for me. I rationalized that I would just be very careful and all would be okay. Well, fast forward to one of my biggest lessons in this arena.

I ended up tripping and injuring my foot and ankle that very day because those shoes, though pretty, were a half size too big. But I had to wear them – even at the expense of causing injury to myself. Get the picture?

There is a risk associated with shoes, or things that don’t fit. Sometimes people look attractive to you physically, but based on ideological differences, they just don’t fit. Sometimes jobs seem very lucrative, but based on the sacrifice you’ll have to make, they just won’t fit. And sometimes cars look oh so gorgeous on that lot, but the way your finances are set up, it just won’t fit (into the budget).

Some things, some people and/or some places just don’t fit anymore. No need to throw a long-term pity party. No need to spend loads of time in the land of regret. Face the reality of what is, look for that which does fit and regain your confidence, comfort, sanity and peace.

As always, I’m cheering for you and just an email away if you need to chat.

Keisa Sharpe-Jefferson is a life coach, author and speaker. Her column appears each month online and in The Birmingham Times. You can contact Keisa at keisasharpe@yahoo.com and visit http://www.allsheanaturals.com for natural hair and body products.

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