BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
JESSICA & DAMON MURRAY
Live: Pleasant Grove
Married: Oct. 8, 2022
Met: Winter 2021, at Damon’s cousin Donnell’s home in the Green Acres community on Birmingham’s west side. Damon was there for their Friday night hangout when Jessica, who had been longtime friends and former neighbors with Donnell, stopped by.
“It’s [hanging out at Donnell’s] just something we always did at the end of a long week, but that particular night, I didn’t know Jessica was going to come by …,” Damon remembered. “I had known of her for a long time because she used to live next door to him … [Over the years], I had seen her in passing, but either she was in a relationship, or I was in a relationship, so Donnell [never introduced us]. At this point, I had just gone through a breakup and she was single, so we were finally formally introduced.”
“I always thought Damon was fine,” Jessica laughed, “and finally I had a chance to be in his presence so why not get to know him?” she said. “We got a chance to talk and exchange numbers and it went from there.”
First date: March 6, 2021, for dinner and bowling in Tuscaloosa. They dined at Southern Ale House and went to a nearby bowling alley for fun at the arcade.
“I wanted to get her out of the city,” Damon said. “COVID was still lingering and I was apprehensive about going anywhere, and I was very adamant about that, but Damon said, ‘come on, just ride and let me take you out,’” said Jessica.
Jessica agreed and said they had a good time. “On the ride to Tuscaloosa we talked and listened to music, and I’m an old school music person, but he loves music of all kinds, and he introduced me to a lot of R&B that I had never heard, and different artists I’d never paid attention to like Ella Mai, SiR, Summer Walker, and Eric Bellinger… it was a vibe. I enjoyed his company. But on the way back I did end up nodding off,” she said.
Damon wanted to do something different, “[that’s why] I said, ‘let’s go out of town’ … and I thought going to the bowling alley arcade would give us a chance to do something fun … we got to laugh and have a good time. And I won’t say I didn’t take COVID serious, but it was pretty odd being at a restaurant that had [the patrons separated] by plastic dividers,” Damon laughed.
The turn: A few weeks later, at Jessica’s place in Green Acre’s on Birmingham’s west side. Damon recalls sitting in her den watching TV when the conversation deepened and they defined their relationship.
“…we were trying to make sure we were on the same page with what we wanted,” Jessica said. “[Whether] we wanted to be exclusive, and if we were both dating for the purpose of marriage, and we both agreed that was what we wanted.”
“In the conversation, we talked about things that we did not like from previous relationships and what we wanted for future relationships … what we wanted from our relationship and what it would take to reach marriage. I was previously married, and she had been engaged before, so she was hesitant to bring [marriage] up to me because she wasn’t sure if I wanted to be married again. And initially, I didn’t. [After my first marriage ended], I figured I would just date or be single for the rest of my life, but Jessica showed me something different and I saw that maybe I could have the marriage I wanted the second time around,” he said.
The proposal: On Jessica’s birthday, Aug. 15, 2021, at Big Whiskey in Hoover. Damon said he had had the ring for two months, and was waiting for the perfect timing to pop the question. After dating only a few short months, Jessica had no idea that this birthday dinner would mark the beginning of their future with their closest family members there to witness.
“We were on such a high in our relationship and were enjoying each other so much and I didn’t want to let the moment in time slip away,” said Damon. “So that morning, I called her mom and talked to her about my intentions, and then I asked her father for his permission. I felt like I wasn’t getting any younger and knew what I wanted so I planned out how I would propose.
“After we ate dinner and sang ‘Happy Birthday’, a couple of gifts were passed around and then I gave her my gift. I had the ring box boxed up in several boxes, one inside the other, and when she finally got to the ring I got down on one knee and gave her a long drawn out proposal,” Damon laughed. His speech essentially broke down the timeline of their short courtship, special moments, trials they had overcome, and at the end he said, “I don’t want to let that go, and I want more of those moments and asked her to be my wife’.”
“I knew we had been discussing our future, and seeing all those boxes, I knew something was going on, but I wasn’t expecting him to propose on my birthday,” Jessica said. “It started with one big box and I was shaking them one by one, and when I finally got to the ring box and opened it up, I was in shock. Of course, I started crying tears of joy because not only was that special, but I got a ring, and I was about to marry someone I truly love. I was so happy, and I said ‘yes’.”
The wedding: At the Bessemer Civic Center, officiated by Pastor Regina Sheffield, of Church of The Living God, in Birmingham. Their colors were burgundy, navy blue, and ivory.
Most memorable for the bride was the amount of joy in her heart and her dream coming true. “I must say I was a crybaby all day. I cried all morning, and all the way there. I was so happy and couldn’t believe I was getting ready to marry the love of my life; that was the highlight for me. I was already overly excited, but the moment that really hit me was when I got to the Civic Center to start getting ready for the wedding. That’s when it all set in. And, we had a videographer who recorded us giving messages to one another, saying how we were feeling in the moment and that was a dream come true.”
The groom shares similar sentiments. “Getting ready with my groomsmen and family was memorable … It was the conversations we were having and preparing for what was about to happen. Also, seeing her come down the aisle did it for me. It was amazing seeing her in her dress and seeing how everything came together because we worked on our wedding together. And seeing Jessica smiling and being happy was everything. I could tell she was a little nervous [but more than anything] I could see her happiness and it was a great moment in time,’ Damon said.
The honeymooned on a cruise to the Bahamas. “It was Jessica’s first cruise and first time out of the country … There is nothing like being out on that big blue sea, and having the sun shining down on us. It was amazing,” Damon said.
Words of wisdom: “I believe that your business is your business and not anyone else’s; keep your problems in the house,” said Damon. “You should also make allowances for your spouse, because in our case, we got married kinda fast, so we were still learning each other. Don’t drag disagreements out. Resolve them in a healthy and constructive manner.”
“Put God first and keep people out of your business. Whatever struggles you have, keep it amongst yourselves because people love to see your downfall. So whatever internal struggles you have, pray about them and work them out,” Jessica said.
Happily ever after: The Murrays attend Greater Emmanuel Temple Holiness Church, in East Lake, and are a blended family with four children: Landon, 10, from Jessica’s previous relationship, Martell, 24, and Mohaganie, 22, from Damon’s previous relationship, and Lance, 1, from their union.
Jessica, 40, is Green Acres [Birmingham’s west side] native, and A.H. Parker High School grad. She attended Lawson State Community College where she earned an associate’s degree in child development/early childhood education, and Athens State University [Athens, Ala], where she obtained a bachelor’s degree in early instructor education, with a minor in early childhood education. Jessica works as a pre-kindergarten teacher for Birmingham City Schools.
Damon, 45, is a Smithfield native, and South Panola High School [Batesville, Mississippi] grad. He attended Ole Mississippi University, where he studied litho-graphic printing before joining the US Army, where he served in the 69th battalion at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Damon works as a truck driver for Jefferson County.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
