‘I Caught Her Off Guard [and] Said, ‘Let’s Get Married’ and I Showed Her the Ring’
BY JE’DON HOLLOWAY-TALLEY | Special to the Birmingham Times
DENA AND JOHN RICHARD
Live: Pleasant Grove
Married: Aug. 19, 1989
Met: December 1985, at Jefferson State Community College. Dena had arrived on campus and parked near the gym when she noticed that someone had left their car lights on. She knew that the basketball team was in the gym practicing and decided to go in and make them aware, and based on the description of the car, the team pointed to John.
“The funny thing about it is when I went up to John and told him he’d left his headlights on, he asked me a dumb question– ‘are you for real?’, and given the fact that he was kind of fine I didn’t respond sarcastically, I just [confirmed it], and went on about my business,” recalled Dena.
“My response was because I used to play jokes on people all the time,” John explained, “I thought I was being set up … but they really were on.”
“A few days later I showed up to his basketball game with my boyfriend and John saw me when I came in,” Dena said.
“Dena was cute and my dad always told me that when you find somebody you like you have to let them know that you’re interested. So the next day when I saw her in the lunchroom I walked up to her and told her I was jealous, and just walked away. I let her have her space after that, but every time I would see her around campus, I would tell her the same line ‘I’m jealous’, and would keep it moving,” John said.
One day, John saw Dena sitting in her car studying and asked her if she wanted to go grab pizza, but Dena declined because she was studying for a final.
“But when he came back, he knocked on my window and handed me a personal pan pizza and walked away. And what I liked about him was that he wasn’t pushy, he would get in where he fit in. If he caught me reading and studying, he would grab his books and come sit at the table with me and do his work,” Dena recalled.
Dena played coy with John from December ‘85, to June of ‘86. At some point they exchanged numbers and would occasionally talk on the phone, but it wasn’t until she graduated in June of ‘86 that the pair would start spending time together after Dena had split from her boyfriend.
First date: A few days after Dena’s graduation in June, 1986. John invited her over to his parents’ home in Powderly Hills for a hangout.
“That was our first time spending some real time together and talking face to face. It was wonderful. I was surprised that she actually came, and she met my parents. It was a great evening,” John said.
“It was a good night. That’s when I started to like him and found out exactly how kind he was. I already knew he was kind because he brought me lunch that day, but that night I really got to know him better,” said Dena.
The turn: “We were boyfriend and girlfriend after the night I went over his house,” she laughed. “We didn’t have to define things the way they do things now. If you were dating you were boyfriend and girlfriend until you weren’t.”
“That’s right. When she came to my house that night, I knew she was mine. From that point on she was my girlfriend,” John said.
The proposal: Christmas 1987, at Dena’s parent’s home in Bessemer. John had purchased the engagement ring as her gift and came over to propose.
“We were upstairs alone sitting in the living room where they had the Christmas tree up, and her parents were downstairs … and when [I proposed] I kind of caught her off guard because we were sitting on the floor and I said, ‘let’s get married’ and showed her the ring,” John said. “We had been together for a minute and we knew what we both wanted.”
“I said ‘Yes.’ I was smiling and happy that he surprised me with it [the proposal] on Christmas,” said Dena.
The wedding: At Oak Grove Baptist Church in Bessemer, officiated by Pastor Michael Reese. Their colors were red and white.
Most memorable for the bride was her anticipation of the ceremony start time. “I was a nervous wreck. I was sitting in the back watching the clock because we were getting married at 6 p.m., and I told [my bridesmaids] I don’t care whose dress ain’t zipped, when it hits 6 o’clock, we’re walking out,” Dena said. “And when I started down the aisle you could see how nervous I was all over my face, and when John and I locked eyes, smiles came across both of our faces and the nervousness left.”
Most memorable for the groom was easing his anxiety after having a good laugh with one of his groomsmen, Samuel Dudley, who was always a jokester “and he broke the ice that set my nerves at ease,” John said.
“I guess Sam had walked out in the back of the church and had seen Dena in her dress and he came back in to tell me. He pulled me to the side, and he said ‘maaan, Dena so fine’, and we broke out laughing, and after that I said ‘ok, we good.’ For some reason, after my good friend joked with me and told me how beautiful my bride was, all the nervousness left and I was ready to see her,” John recalled.
They honeymooned in Orlando, Florida, and went to Disney World. “I had been to Disney before, but it was Dena’s first time and she was wowed. I had fun taking her around,” John said.
“Epcot [an area of the theme park where it’s broken off into countries] was a lot to take in, getting to see all the different cultures in one place,” Dena said. “And that was the beginning of our travels. I hadn’t done much before then, but we’ve been traveling together ever since.”
Words of wisdom: “Marriage is about working together; you can’t ever stop working together,” John said. “I’ve always been a sports person, and to me, marriage is like a team. One person, or in this case, one spouse, can’t carry the team. You have to work together, and you can’t give up on it no matter how bad it gets. You have to really dig deep when things look their darkest and keep grinding. No matter how many times Dena might have said I want to give up, or I’m tired, one thing I learned from my parents was that you can’t throw your hands up. I never did, I told her ‘we gotta keep working’.”
“You got two different people coming from two different households, belief systems, and thought processes, and you’re trying to marry those two together and build a life together, so you have to work together and compromise,” Dena said. “Some people say marriage is 50/50, but it’s not, it’s 100/100. You both have to give your all. One thing John used to tell me is that divorce is not an option, and as long you’re not being mistreated or abused in any way, marriage is worth working for. And, it takes much prayer, forgiveness, and grace.”
Happily ever after: The Richards attend the Worship Center Christian Church in Bessemer, and have two adult children: Gabriel, 33, and Ephraim, 28, and three grandchildren.
Dena, 59, is a Bessemer native and Hueytown High School grad. She attended Jefferson State Community College, where she earned an associate’s degree in nursing, and the University of Alabama at Birmingham [UAB], where she obtained a bachelor’s degree in nursing. Dena works as a senior clinical compliance auditor for Encompass Health in Birmingham.
John, 57, is a Powderly native, and Jones Valley High School grad. He attended Jefferson State Community College where he studied business management, and retired from Birmingham Fire and Rescue in 2019, after 28 years.
“You Had Me at Hello’’ highlights married couples and the love that binds them. If you would like to be considered for a future “Hello’’ column, or know someone, please send nominations to Barnett Wright bwright@birminghamtimes.com. Include the couple’s name, contact number(s) and what makes their love story unique.
Ms. Berry was born in Birmingham on July 26, 1949, to Thattius and Dorothy Berry. She spent part of her formative years in New Jersey before returning to Birmingham to live with her aunt (second mother), Mrs. Mamie Lee Walker.
